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Healthbolt

Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

October 29th, 2007

Encouragement for Those Sporting Lame Halloween Costumes

Definitely cuddly. K-lass, you were the hottest loin ever.
Halloween. If you’re a dude, you’re Elvis or a pimp. If you’re a chick, you’re an angel or a slut. If you’re me, you put on jeans and fake bling and wait for someone else to identify what your costume is.

We can all stop feeling shame […]

By Sara -- 4 comments

October 22nd, 2007

Stretching Does Not Stop Soreness (and Other Things You Thought You Knew)

Oh, my friends, how we have erred. Three separate studies combine to inform us that we are wrong, and not just in that Healthbolt kind of way. Stretching doesn’t relieve soreness, insoles are a waste of money, and a positive outlook does nothing for your chance of surviving cancer.
First, stretching either before or after exercising […]

By Sara -- 5 comments

October 9th, 2007

Brain-Eating Amoeba: Meh

Lake Havasu.
So there’s an amoeba that feeds on your brain, and my sources tell me it’s pretty much everywhere. This amoeba enters through your nose, takes up residence in your cerebral matter, and gets busy munching. Then, you die.
As if you needed another reason to avoid Lake Havasu, the amoeba has sprouted up […]

By Sara -- 1 comment

September 22nd, 2007

Man Wakes Up in Time to Experience His Own Autopsy

Um, guys?
When a distraught Venezuelan woman arrived at the morgue to identify her dead husband, she was overjoyed to learn he was still alive - albeit with a bit of a nick from the pathologist’s blade. The man was merely unconscious when the medical examiners began the autopsy by first cutting into his face. The […]

By Sara -- 3 comments

September 12th, 2007

The Cadaver Calculator!

Ever wondered how much your body is worth? Start planning now with the Cadaver Calculator!
The Cadaver Calculator asks you a series of questions, including whether you are fit or obese, if you’re a lil smokey or not, how much liquor you quaff, if you are an albino (hey), and if you ever eat anything remotely […]

By Sara -- 3 comments

September 5th, 2007

What’s With Keeping Dead Relatives In Your House for Years?

Seriously, people, you know better.
An Austrian woman lived with her deceased aunt’s body in her home for a year, continuing to collect the 96-year-old woman’s pension while Auntie “slumbered” under a blanket in the bedroom. Apparently, the niece could not afford the funeral and burial expenses. Death is expensive.
This isn’t the only case of […]

By Sara -- 3 comments

August 22nd, 2007

Man Slams 8 Red Bulls, Has Heart Attack, Gets Pissed

Where are my f*#@ing wings?!?
A 28-year-old motocross racer downed 8 Red Bulls in 5 hours to flood his body with adrenaline in the hopes of having a better shot at winning. Instead, he had a heart attack and nearly died.
Red Bull advises consumers not to drink more than two cans in a 24-hour period, […]

By Sara -- 14 comments

August 15th, 2007

Morning News Fix

Western Diet Is Unhealthy!
This is news? Yes, my little curmudgeons, primarily because the latest study has established a link between junk food favorites and colon cancer recurrence. French fries, burgers and shakes (and pretty much all the other fried favorites) are bad for us. Fortunately, we at least have junk food that isn’t. The only […]

By Sara -- 1 comment

August 2nd, 2007

How to Escape a Sinking Car

It happens. Here’s how to make it out alive:
1. Remain calm. Your chances are good.

2. Get out quickly! Unfasten your seat belt immediately. This is the major reason victims don’t survive. Get the window or door opened asap.
3. The window is your friend. Electric windows? Keep a screwdriver or hammer in your glove box, […]

By Sara -- 5 comments

July 26th, 2007

The First Person Who Will Live to Be 1000 Is Alive Right Now!

Methuselah is going to be l-i-v-i-d.
According to the latest immortality research (oh, it is a field), the possibility of a person making it to their first millennium is not only possible - it’s almost guaranteed that such a person is already alive right now. Of course, philosophical debates are raging, but everyone agrees that perhaps […]

By Sara -- 42 comments

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