Excuse Me, Sir. Does This Toilet Seat Make My Butt Look Big?

by Liberty on March 13th, 2008

Wowza. Now here’s a story that’ll make you think twice about the phrase “Shit or get off the pot”.

Seems a 35-year-old Kansas woman by the name of Pam Babcock has been spending so much time on the pot that her skin actually started growing around the seat. No, I swear I’m not kidding.

What’s more? This didn’t happen overnight. Nah, this poor woman has been living in her boyfriend’s bathroom for two years. Two years!

Says boyfriend Kory McFarren:

“She is an adult; she made her own decision. I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it.”

Well sure, guy. Who wouldn’t find it commonplace to have another human being occupying your bathroom for years on end. I mean, yeah. Totally normal.

According to McFarren, his lady had a phobia about leaving the bathroom due to a tumultuous childhood. Her visits to the powder room became progressively longer until one day she decided she was going to stay, “like it was a safe place for her”.

During this time, Ms. Babcock moved around the bathroom, bathed, ate and drank, and changed into clothes that McFarren brought to her. The two had conversations and an otherwise normal relationship (um, I wonder if that includes, well, you know). Pretty much business as usual - except it all happened in the loo.

McFarren finally called the law on February 27 after Babcock became groggy. Police found her sitting on the toilet, clothed but with her pants pulled down mid-thigh, with atrophied legs. The toilet seat had to be removed from the tank with a pry bar, and hitched a ride on Babcock’s ass all the way to the hospital, where it was finally removed.

Babcock initially refused any help, saying she was okay and didn’t want to leave. But with a bit of coaxing, she finally conceded. McFarren maintains that he asked her to leave the bathroom every day, but her answer would always be, “Maybe tomorrow”.

While Babcock is listed in fair condition at our source’s press time, she does have an infection in her legs that has damaged her nerves and may sentence her to a wheelchair.

So, um, if we didn’t learn a life’s lesson here, than, wow. If you have to hit the porcelain throne, get yer business done and get out. And if you are stricken with a phobia (which is totally serious and we are definitely not making fun of), try to make sure you get help before you start a new (and unsavory) trend in bum jewelry.

Source