Early Sexual Activity Curbs Teen Delinquency, Reduces National Debt, Increases Lollipop and Bonbon Production
As usual, Iowa messes up the rotation.
In a surprising twist, research reveals that the earlier kids become sexually active, the less likely they are to turn into the dreaded juvenile delinquents. Are we really surprised? This is what I’ve been recommending all along. The sooner the sprouts get started on getting busy, the better for everyone. Just a few of the benefits I have researched:
- Reduced national debt
- Increased lollipop and bonbon production
- More LOTR box sets for everyone (director’s cut)
- Greener vegetables, redder meats, whiter teeth, more use of comparative adjectives generally
- Fluffier, more shimmery ruffles
- New haircuts and skincare products for all the world leaders plus cupcakes
- No more products with double vowels, like Wii, because new vowels will magically emerge
- Endless supply of nachos
- More sea urchins
- And world peace
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POSTED IN: Boys & Girls, Children, Sex
3 opinions for Early Sexual Activity Curbs Teen Delinquency, Reduces National Debt, Increases Lollipop and Bonbon Production
Kristina
Nov 21, 2007 at 1:49 pm
What a relief to know!
Mikeachim
Dec 1, 2007 at 9:51 am
Yes, but what about energy levels? You know, when you’ve had so much sex that you can’t think, and the only thing you’re good for is 15 hours of sleep, or more sex?
Just imagine if schooling / academia / industry was hit by a All Shagged Out drive. Nothing would get done.
No, puritanical repression is the way to go for a succesful (violent, polluted) future. So put it away, everyone, and have more cold showers, for the sake of your careers.
Dan
Mar 9, 2008 at 4:11 pm
We have similiar interests, which is human behavior, which is why I’m complelled to add to this post that early sexuality reduces both homosexuality and deviancy, presuming they are not synonomous.
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