Get Steven Seagal’s Juices Inside You!
You know what’s adorable? Steven Seagal hawking his juices. Someone sent this to me a while back and I kinda can’t believe I almost forgot to share Steven’s juicy power with the world! (The shame, the shame. And here we were making so much progress.)
“It’s time for the Steven Seagal Experience! There is no telling what will happen once you get his juices inside you! Massive explosions, intense hand to hand combat, speaking in cryptic monotone dialog, who knows? So quaff your very own Steven Seagal Lightning Bolt Energy Drink today, and get ready for the extreme!”
According to the official site, Steven Seagal’s energy drink is “as unique as the man who created it”. This chi chug contains Tibetan Goji berries, guarana, yerba mate, Asian cordyceps, ginseng, ginkgo biloba, B vitamins, and green tea, so it’s actually a healthy formula (yes, I just said that). Is there anything everyone’s favorite CIA operative cannot do? Finally, he shares the source of his powers: Lightning Bolt Energy Drink. Get his juices inside you.
- link
Note: I am not endorsing this product.
7 opinions for Get Steven Seagal’s Juices Inside You!
A'Llyn Ettien
Nov 3, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Oh, urrg. That title–in fact, almost that entire post–is so wrong.
Naturally, I love it.
Gloria
Nov 3, 2007 at 10:31 pm
yeah, that title is very misleading. for a while i thought (by just reading the title, not yet the entry) steven seagal’s sperm is now available for anyone. LOL!!
Mike Sowden
Nov 4, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Drink a can of this, and you too can cook with one hand and fire an automatic weapon with the other. Your hair *will* turn disturbingly glossy, and you will start speaking as if the victim of a moderately terrible Botox accident.
Note: Steven has had extensive training in blowing up oil-rigs of evil environmental terrorists and freefalling sideways through train carriages. A can of fizzy green tea is no substitute for unconvincing special effects. Drink smart.
Sara
Nov 5, 2007 at 12:36 pm
You know, I bet Steven Seagal’s sperm IS available for anyone. ;)
Mike Sowden
Nov 5, 2007 at 3:23 pm
That’s bordering on being celebrity gossip. ;)
Cary
Nov 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I think this is great. We should get other late eighties/early nineties stars to endorse energy drinks. I don’t know about you, but I would be all over a Chuck Norris, or Jean Claude Van Dam health drink.
If its good enough for Steven, its damn sure good enough for me!
briskella arnaaout
Apr 21, 2008 at 5:50 am
notify at my, e-mail address
briskella arnaaout
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