Stretching Does Not Stop Soreness (and Other Things You Thought You Knew)
Oh, my friends, how we have erred. Three separate studies combine to inform us that we are wrong, and not just in that Healthbolt kind of way. Stretching doesn’t relieve soreness, insoles are a waste of money, and a positive outlook does nothing for your chance of surviving cancer.
First, stretching either before or after exercising does nothing for your muscles in terms of soreness prevention or workout recovery. It’s literally a waste of time. This is according to a scientific review of 10 studies, 9 of which were lab-conducted (that’s kind of a big deal). We have to move on from this news now, or I will sink into a mire of high school P.E. memories so deep, I will never get out in time for the rest of this post. But let it be known: stretching is pointless. Are we sad? Are we happy?
Another cheery review finds that insoles, such as those little jelly heel inserts, suck in a variety of ways. Insoles do not prevent back injuries, do not successfully treat existing lower back problems, and do not count as flair.
Many people like to believe that things like “positive thinking” (coughfaithcough) can increase the odds of beating cancer. Once again, those godless scientists are out to ruin society as we know it: how you feel or believe or think has absolutely no bearing on your chances for survival.
I don’t know about you, but I just feel like Artex at this point. This is all the real news I can take. Now back to the show.
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