‘Gangsta Seat’ Is Dangerous; ‘Yo, Baby, Can I Holla’ Remains Merely Annoying
In a finding sure to disappoint the baby mamas and the cheerleaders alike, experts are warning that riding in one’s car with the seat reclined is extremely dangerous to health, and worse, government safety warnings have failed to address this serious health issue.
Of course, if you read “seat reclined” and this conjured up images of long road trips with screaming toddlers in the back and the aching desire to recline your seat to get, oh, three seconds of sleep before it’s your turn to drive again, congratulations. Not only are you old, but you - along with the car safety experts - are unaware of the single most crucial step in the mating dance of American teenagers. And that step is Gangsta Seat. Riding with your seat reclined until it’s more obtuse than that angle you had to deal with in second period geometry class is essential. On the real, tipping back that seat is not only a good stretching opportunity for the young male arm; it’s the equivalent of bright feathers for the Eminem set.
Young gentlemen everywhere are sure to bemoan the loss of their best tactic for impressing the shorties, but your Healthbolt experts predict some young men will remain undeterred in their competitive quest for “most OG-ness attained while borrowing Mom’s Toyota”. Alas, the health experts want you to know: Gangsta Seat is dangerous. The concern here isn’t so much whether or not you be ridin’ dirty, but whether you make use of that area of space above the dashboard known as the windshield. Apparently, the “windshield” improves visibility, but you’ll need to ensure your car seat is upright in order to make full use of it. You’ll also notice milder internal bleeding, fewer cracked ribs and less death should you get into an accident, which, unfortunately, you’re pretty much guaranteed to experience long before you lose your virginity.
Thanks to my girl Emily at Slate for the hook-up.
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POSTED IN: Boys & Girls, Health, Safety
3 opinions for ‘Gangsta Seat’ Is Dangerous; ‘Yo, Baby, Can I Holla’ Remains Merely Annoying
Brian
Sep 10, 2007 at 11:56 am
LMAO…
Ok so I’m old, but I do have to say your take on the “seat reclined” was hilarious – much more interesting and entertaining than the original.
While I feel bad about what happened to Emily, I can’t for the life of believe that people don’t realize when you recline in your seat, that your seatbelt is not going to do you any good if you have to stop suddenly. I won’t let my kids do it, and I didn’t even need to read the manual to figure that out — although, since I did read the manual does that make me odd, because she makes it sound as if nobody ever reads the manual.
What gets me about her post is the lack of personal responsibility. I mean where does it end? Is the government now responsible to tell me how to wipe my … ah … nose? Or, I should get $59 million from Toyota, because I feel like an ass that my legs were amputated when I was reclining in my seat during an accident. Even though, if I had a lick of sense, I would have realized that there was no way the seatbelt was going to work and keep me in my seat.
Oh well, I guess she’ll get her way when the Toyota’s and Ford’s of the world pay out enough in damages that it’s cheaper for them to post a big warning sign on the car than to pay lawyers. ;)
Sara
Sep 10, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Brian, interesting take: personal responsibility? What? I know that’s one we could all debate! :)
Although, I do want to add that I don’t mean at all to diminish anyone’s personal experience with this. I read the article and found myself thinking about the ridiculous and dangerous trend of teenagers (and some twenty somethings who should know better) riding around trying to look cool and endangering themselves and others in the process. There is simply no way that leaning back in a near-napping position, with only one hand on the wheel, is even remotely cool. It bothers me that so many kids are tooling around with so little control over their own vehicles.
In another words, another massive tangent from Sara on a current safety debate…
Chris H
Feb 6, 2008 at 10:52 am
Indeed, the culture has changed. At the current high school I attend, one student made a remark about how I drove with both hands on the steering wheel, as our driver’s ed program teaches us. After the uproar that ensued, another student asked me more directly if I actually did drive with both hands. I could tell the tone of his voice had a “You can’t be serious?” quality to it. As though somehow, nobody should ever consider safe or sane driving practice. I suppose I won’t see him at our future high school reunion, will I?
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