How to Look Like an Idiot in 1 Easy Step
Your normal programming has been interrupted for this important public service announcement:
Look like an idiot in 1 easy step: pimp an IQ widget on your blog!
Online IQ tests are a joke (but you know this). Even if they claim to be “real”. They’re not.
Guess what? Mensa is a joke, too.
The vos Savant method will raise your IQ a few notches, but does this really mean anything?
Even the merit of a “real” IQ test is debatable, because IQ is a controversial concept. Evolutionary biologist Stephen Jay Gould and the pioneering Alfred Binet disputed the validity of IQ (among many others).
If you need to do some virtual culling or simply find yourself in the mood to discover even more poseurs, because you’re just so gangsta, might I suggest a rich niche known as those who brag about their intelligence. Of course, only retarded people will just come right out and tell you directly. Most wannabe genii will sheepishly tell you in faux humility, and only after a lot of prodding. Or they’ll display El Widget De Smarty on their blog, but with an appropriately self-deprecating tagline nearby. And by nearby I mean in the archives.
We’re just super saucy for high IQ. We love to compare everything from election results to life expectancy to hangover prevalence against intelligence measurements. The human affinity for categories and labels is only outdone by our love of Wal-Mart.
Remember, however, that the merit of IQ is questionable. Definition - by definition - helps us to organize and understand data and clarify experience. But definitions are also inherently limiting. That is why a high IQ is no categorical predictor of talent, success, creativity, health, or achievement.
What’s with the genius wet dreams of the Myspace set? Being a genius is miserable, and not in that emo eyeliner kind of way. It seems to involve a lot of hard work, which, come on, is just gross. It’s often lonely and not very different from garden-variety crazy.
Geniuses in every field, from all walks of life, from every blot in the span of time, have only one thing in common, and it isn’t IQ. It’s fire in the belly. It’s at least ten years of wrenching hard work. It’s torture. And you’ll still probably fail.
People romanticize “genius” the same way they romanticize “enlightenment” (at least in California, anyway). But we don’t really want to be geniuses and we don’t really want to be enlightened, either. You know why? Because true genius is hard, and true enlightenment is nothing more than pain and suffering.
What most of us actually want is approval and relief.
Which is why Mensa is so popular, and The Secret is a best-seller.
My inexpert advice: just do your thing, baby, and do it with confidence. Also, don’t do drugs.
And now, back to the show.
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POSTED IN: Down with P.C.!, Fiction, How To, Misc., On the Other Hand, Philosophy, Your Mind
13 opinions for How to Look Like an Idiot in 1 Easy Step
DopeyLaRue
Jul 24, 2007 at 4:13 pm
but…but…but…I am so PROUD of my [genius] number! It makes me so happy and PROVES to EVERYONE that I am not dumb! Kidding. Love it. Good stuff.
Sara
Jul 24, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Glad you like it, Dopester. ;)
Brian
Jul 24, 2007 at 5:20 pm
So true, and I used to love “Pinky and the Brain”, perfect example of stupid “genius”…
“The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein
“What are we doing tonight Brain?” “Same thing we do every night, Pinky…”
Sara
Jul 24, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Brian,
P and B was always my favorite! Your comment made me smile :)
Jennifer
Jul 24, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Really, REALLY, great post. I’m unschooling my son and at least four or five times a year someone brings up the IQ issue to me, “Oh, but what about his IQ dear… such a shame.” It’s a total pain. I was tested and school approved for TAG in high school — guess I did well on some test. But honestly hated school, skipped all the time and barely managed Cs. But I know a lot. My sister; straight As, perfect student, failed her standardized tests and never made it to lame TAG. But she knows a lot. (TAG, by the way was a complete waste of time when they’d make me attend classes). So, which of us is smarter?
All this gets so old. Your post shows it and rocks. Very cool.
Sara
Jul 24, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Jennifer,
Thanks for the kudos! I really get cranky at the way people often mindlessly worship what are possibly arbitrary standards. Tidbit: I myself was home-schooled after flunking first grade and being told I was “probably going to need special ed”. I think I was having trouble cutting out flowers or something. Anyway, my mom was horrified and turned me loose in the library for the next several years instead of sticking with the school system. (And just look at the wonderful results, I tell you. When I’m not busy curing cancer and eradicating global warming, I blog.) But seriously, I am all for alternative forms of education. Thanks for the note!
Raymond Johnson
Jul 24, 2007 at 6:27 pm
But isn’t it okay to get a little validation out of it, even if it’s not completely empirically accurate? Sometimes I don’t want everything to be too real.
Sara
Jul 24, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Reality is real whether we want it to be or not! ;)
Garrett
Jul 25, 2007 at 12:58 am
That was beautiful. Thank you.
Sara
Jul 25, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Thanks, Garrett! :)
Joe
Jul 29, 2007 at 4:11 pm
i have an iq of 175… sux to be y’all
Sara
Jul 29, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Joe, thank you for deigning to grace us with your presence. :)
tuningplus
Jan 25, 2008 at 8:26 am
thanks..;)
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