10 Politically Incorrect ‘Truths’ About Sex & Relationships
I just love when psychology serves up a big dish of Boo Yah. The two-second version, if you believe the authors: men want sex, women want security, nobody wants leftovers for dinner again. From Psychology Today, 10 politically incorrect observations about humans:
10. Gentlemen really do prefer blonds. Everyone prefers blue eyes.
Nobody prefers patchouli.
9. Monogamy is unnatural.
But still the best way to get new china.
8. Monogamy helps undesirable dudes stand more than a chance of a snow cone in hell when it comes to getting a mate. Not so for the ladies. Monogamous societies make it more difficult for women to secure a wealthy mate.
Scientists have theorized that a lifestyle variant known as a “job” may be a successful adaptation for mitigating this disadvantage, but remind us that more research needs to be done before any conclusions can be drawn about whether or not getting a “job” is a tenable solution. Scientists hope to conduct further testing of the legitimacy of the “job” theory in the future.
7. (Religious) suicide bombers are almost always young, single, male Muslims. Polygynous societies exert severe competitive pressure on young men, so the promise of 72 virgins in the afterlife is genuinely compelling.
Because there’s nothing better than sex with a virgin.
6. Sons prevent divorce better than daughters.
Fathers pass their wealth on to sons, so having a son gives a man an incentive to stay in a marriage. Of course, he’ll be spending all that wealth on car insurance.
5. Pretty people have more daughters. Rich people have more sons.
Um, what about pretty, rich people? And does anybody really “marry up” anymore? This seems terribly quaint. In my experience, women are expected to be just as educated and financially independent as men, in addition to being attractive, and men are increasingly expected to look good, dress well, and know their way around the kitchen in addition to being successful. Basically, we’re all expected to be perfect now, which totally rocks. Go us!
4. Crime and talent are merely two sides of the same coin: the primal urge to compete in youth in order to establish oneself as more desirable.
Something any rapper could have told you.
3. Men don’t have mid-life crises because they are getting old. It’s because their wives are getting old.
Darn chicks. Always cramping your style.
2. It would be bizarre, biologically speaking, if powerful men didn’t have affairs. Sex is why men try to be powerful in the first place.
Hey, this is certainly no worse an argument than “the definition of ‘is’ “.
1. Men sexually harass women…because men harass everyone?
Sexual harassment isn’t always about abuse of power in order to acquire a sexual reward. Men are hard-wired to compete, so sexual harassment is often just the boy-to-girl equivalent of a faux fistfight. Ever notice how guys degrade each other constantly as a sign of affection? Jason Lee has made a career of this. Sexual harassment is apparently the same deal. It’s a compliment, just a friendly punch, really. (But science still offers no explanation as to why some men insist on air golf swings when ordering their lattes.)
My question to you, dear reader:
Is this all a matter of evolutionary psychology…or successful social conditioning? Because apparently when the authors wrote this article, no pheromones were available for comment. I think everybody just wants to smooch. Even Jesus.
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POSTED IN: Boys & Girls, Down with P.C.!, Misc., Psychology, Relationships, Sex, Your Mind
16 opinions for 10 Politically Incorrect ‘Truths’ About Sex & Relationships
Austin
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm
This is definately successful social conditioning.
10.) I prefer brunettes and the majority of my friends (that have their own thoughts) either prefer or manage to mary brunettes. Maybe they are confused because most “hollywood” hot women become blond to fit in.
9.) If monogamy is so unnatural, then why does it produce the most successful, healthy offspring?
Why do 95% of couples mary with intent on being together forever?
3.) No coment.
1.) Often Sexual harrasment is a pickup line from the wrong guy.
Austin
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:13 pm
For the record: I didn’t mean that this type of social conditioning is “successful”.
Just more of the world’s negative influence on itself.
Sara
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Austin, regarding “successful” - I know you mean neutral merit, not moral merit. Thanks for stopping by! :)
Robert
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:23 pm
This is a bit off topic but…
As the recent attacks in London attest you can probably add ‘educated’ to ‘young, single, male Muslims’ in number 7. As contradictory as it seems there does seem to be a positive correlation between education and willingness to blow yourself and others up in the name of Allah.
Oh, and for the sake of being a contrarian - I prefer patchouli.
Sara
Jul 6, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Robert,
Interesting. I seem to recall seeing something around the web recently saying that the 72 virgins bit is a misunderstanding by Westerners. I ought to Google this…anyone happen to know?
P.S. Patchouli, for real? Get some help, man! ;)
Marc
Jul 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm
In regards to 72 Virgins, I think Dennis Miller said it best when he said: “I don’t think it’s all it’s cracked up to be, After the first few… i’m gonna want a pro.”
Marc
Jul 6, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Bravo on #5 Sara.. Bravo…
Sara
Jul 6, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Marc,
5 is all you, homey. ;)
AussieRodney
Jul 7, 2007 at 2:29 am
And when you’ve gone through your 72 virgins (so to speak), then what?
And on #3, you’re only as old as the woman you feel. As long as she’s still younger than me, I’m OK!
Sara
Jul 7, 2007 at 10:56 am
Aussie,
Re: 72. I agree. What’s the exit strategy?
Brian
Jul 8, 2007 at 4:46 am
About the 72 virgins, the number is never specified in the Koran, other attributed sayings of Muhammad give that number.
This is the passage from the Koran that is the basis of the 72 virgins:
“Verily, for the Muttaqun [righteous], there will be a success (paradise); gardens and grapeyards; and young full-breasted (mature) maidens of equal age; and a full cup (of wine)” (An-Naba 78:31-34).
Definitely a male view of paradise - who was writing this Hugh or Muhammad?
I picked this info up a couple of years ago from a few different sites, but the site below is the most complete answer:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/011214.html
Sara
Jul 8, 2007 at 11:11 am
You’re awesome Brian, thanks! (Could Hugh even keep up with 72?) ;)
Mikeachim
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:17 pm
I said I was stupid for not reading your posts regularly, earlier today, Sara.
Now I’m officially 10 times as stupid. I love the way you’ve answered these.
….
Enough of this back-slapping. I’m British, I generally don’t go in for it, instead preferring an aloof distance with contemptuously flared nostrils.
So my thoughts on the topic.
Well, point 9 always infuriates me - the whole animalistic argument being implied, ie. ‘monogamy is unnatural because it’s encoded into our genes for males to try to have their way with any female they can and thus perpetuate the species’, etc etc.
And there was me thinking that’s what human culture is *for*. Whether it’s true or not that we used to behave that way, we’re not those animals anymore. Human culture is a rulebook for us to be effective at cooperating, thus rendering our animal side largely irrelevant. We don’t, for example, run around hitting each other with human thigh-bones, except in certain English council-house estates.
Monogamy is a *cultural invention*. So is polygamy. But monogamy is better accepted. You become a monogamist so you can fit into Western society. So to a wannabe Western polygamist….well, bad luck, buddy. Quit whining already.
Sara
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Mike: “Enough of this back-slapping. I’m British, I generally don’t go in for it, instead preferring an aloof distance with contemptuously flared nostrils.”
Mike, you kill me! :)
Monogamy is a cultural invention, but a very useful one. What I do find amusing is the fact that we have plenty of stereotypical jokes about men being tied down by the “old ball and chain” and that whole bit. But marriage is actually very healthy for men - much more so than women, in fact. That’s why men are slower to divorce - studies show men overwhelmingly find marriage to be rewarding (for mental health, most notably). Plus, if you go check out the Gouldenomics blog, you’ll learn that the whole stereotype of men being cads and women being less sexually active is b.s. Men and women have sex (and cheat) equally.
Mikeachim
Aug 13, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Absolutely - I’ve always felt the ‘undersexed gender’ argument is clearly a throwback (and not a subtle one either) to unenlightened medieval times when women were seen as mentally and physically challenged, as well as sexually.
Not just medieval, in fact: look at Classical Greece. Women were seen as property that provided a resource - like cattle. Cue 2,000 years of Renaissance-driven Hellenophilia, and equality suddenly has a big problem.
And men being cads….well, in a way being a cad is a sly compliment. A man is admirable if he’s a rogue, even if that includes a great deal of thoroughly despicable behaviour. A woman, however….
We’re exceptionally well culturally programmed. And what endures usually has a good reason to do so. Like, as you say, monogamy. And I find the idea of cheating repulsive and unforgiveable. So I guess I’m well programmed too. :)
Monogamy = healthy, mentally: I seem to remember reading somewhere (a BBC Online article, I think) that published the conclusion that married men had more sex than supposedly more sexually active men in the dating-ring.
Certainly that would make married men happier in the long run!
Sara
Aug 13, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Well it’s definitely true that couples actually get more booty than singles.
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