Healthbolt

Spank on…. Typical Results

by Wade Meredith on August 31st, 2006

Spank, is a Monkeroo* that lives with Shandra and Clint Chapman and will be sharing his observations in his column, Spank On…. (musings that will make your triathlon life easier)

Spank and I were perusing Healthbolt the other day and noticed a comment on one of the news stories. One person mentioned that the editor puts lots of good health tips online, but never discusses how to actually DO the suggested things. (That was Keith, he’s a tool. -ed.)

Our first reaction was, “Give me a break, you just DO it.” After Spank scolded me for being cold and cynical (the Monerkoos are a very positive species) we decided that it is each person’s responsibility to take action, but you can’t blame people for feeling overwhelmed and under prepared for the first step… it’s not the actual tasks that make health and weight loss so daunting to readers like the comment-poster, it’s the expectations that weigh us down.

We’ve all seen the 50-year-old grandma who looks 35 because she uses Bowflex, but we (for our own sanity) cannot fail to notice in cases like hers, that whether the promise is astounding weight-loss, blinding success, or phenomenal happiness, the fine print always reveals that: “Results are not Typical”.

The results are not typical, by definition, because they are not a typical example of a group (thank you, Webster). The average person cannot achieve 5% body fat (AND have big boobs, to mention the shady part of the Bowflex scenario).

Your inability to wear a size 2 is not something to be ashamed of; it’s normal! Don’t get sidetracked by the fact that you will never look like the Bowflex grandma. Instead, get pumped about the fact that you can eat healthy all day tomorrow, and you probably have time to take a 30-minute walk… then do it… then do it again the next day.

Accept that your limitations are real (no money for a Bowflex, no will-power against candy, inherited Aunt Sally’s hips), but don’t let them get in your way (do body resistance weight training, eat candy every other day, buy 20 pairs of any jeans that make your hips look smaller). Then focus on one amazing, foolproof secret to being healthy and losing weight: patience… with yourself and with your body. It takes time.

It’s easy to get sidetracked looking for those not typical results – don’t let it happen. Stick to your plan, and you’ll have your happy ending!

PS If you find a plan that works for you and it turns out that you do, in fact, look like the Bowflex grandma – keep it to yourself – no one wants to hear about it.

Spank RankerA couple of tips toward a healthier lifestyle:

Body Resistance Training (aka squats, lunges, push-ups) – it’s free, it works and it can be done while watching TiVo! 3 stars
Core Training
More Core Training

“2^nd Best” Snacks (aka whole-grain crackers and salsa, instead of chips and dip) – not the same, but better than skipping! – 2 stars

No Excuses Workouts (aka do it in the morning – then nothing can “come up”) – very effective, it definitely works, but it’s soooo early – 1 star

Technorati Tags: spank, motivation, exercise, getting started, plans, core, exercises, expectations, results, typical

* a Monkeroo is a monkey with a kangaroo pouch… if anyone hasn’t guessed, Spank is a stuffed monkey onto which Shandra pinned a pouch… not a living animal

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POSTED IN: How To, Misc., Spank On..., Your Body, Your Mind